Is worrying a sin? I have struggled with this question for a while and I can say today… I believe it can be sinful. In this podcast transcript we are going to define worry, review what the Bible says about it and then discuss the one thing we can do to stop worrying and gain more peace in our life.

What is worry? 

The Oxford definition of worry is:

“give way to anxiety or unease; allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.a state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems.”

Worry involves feeling uneasy and dwelling on something in thought that is real or is in the realm of possibilities but may or may not happen.

Worry is a word that is used to describe a lot situations:

“I was worried because I didn’t know where you were…”

“I am worried that I don’t know what is going to happen…”

“I am worried you are going to make a mistake.”

“I am worried that he won’t like me.”

“I am worried that I won’t get the job.”

Think about how you may have worried lately.  Chances are your worry is coming from a feeling of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a loss of control. Fear of not being accepted. Fear of something not going your way. Fear of making a mistake.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

The Bible is very clear about God thinks about worrying. Jesus says in a red letter moment in Matthew 6:25 – 34…

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28  “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

He actually says the words “Do Not Worry.”  Not “…try not to worry that much…” he flat out says don’t do it. That is pretty clear.

Worrying causes a lot physical symptoms like: an upset stomach, digestive issues, stress, mental anguish, unhealthy repetitive thoughts and some people become aggressive or have escalated emotional reactions. 

The popular America Humorist Erma Bombeck wrote, 

“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” 

Worry is such a common human experience. Most people agree that there is nothing good that comes from worrying. Even the scripture in Matthew  ays we can’t add a day to our life by worrying. There are no benefits and a whole lot of drawbacks.

Actor Michael J Fox’s advice is, 

“Don’t spend a lot of time imagining the worst-case scenario. It rarely goes down as you imagine it will, and if by some fluke it does, you will have lived it twice.”

Even the Dalai Lama said, 

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”

Worrying is common no matter if you are a Christian or not but for Christians, our God tells us directly not to do it. So if Jesus said don’t do it and we know it is not good, why do we keep doing it??? Why is it so hard to stop? 

We are human. We are not perfect and especially when it comes to worry.  Worry is rooted in one single issue…  Trust.   When we can fully trust someone – we do not worry. But we all know trusting people doesn’t come easy.

We have all had moments where we trusted our spouse, a co-worker, a parent, a pastor, a sibling, a friend. We asked them to follow thru on something and we knew they would. There isn’t a second thought about the situation. We knew they would respond. We knew they listen. We knew they would give good advice. We knew we could trust them.

We trust other people too that we don’t even know. Restaurants chefs, pilots, other drivers, police, customers, cashiers and more. We give people money and expect change and accuracy. We eat their food assuming it is not full of bacteria or expired. We drive on streets and highways assuming that other drivers will follow the laws of the road. But we have also been burnt by people that we trusted. Someone didn’t follow thru. Someone forgot. Someone took your money, your property. Someone lied to you. Someone crashed in to your car. Someone lost your luggage. Someone did something wrong and hurt you. 

With each instance of trust being broken, it becomes harder to trust that person in the future and it may impact your ability to trust other people in general. With life experiences we tend to become less trusting…  is it any wonder why we may have problems trusting God. Our human ways are flawed and we tend to apply the same expectations on God. But… God isn’t human. 

The creator if the universe who knows everything about us, gave us life, gave us talents and gifts, who provides and protects us, who loves us and makes promises that he has never broke can’t be trusted. We don’t trust him because of our human examples and human perspective. What would happen if you put God above the human experience? What would happen if you knew you could trust him? If you knew he could help you get through anything? That he would always be there. That he wants you to depend on him and seek for help and comfort for the littlest things and the biggest and hardest things in our life. What would your life be like if you just allowed yourself to trust him?

Some of you are probably saying yes!  Lord I give it all to you. But some of you are probably saying, Lord I want to want to give everything to you.  I can assure you, you are not alone if you are challenged letting go of the control of your life. But let’s not be deceived. We are not in control. We have no idea what is going to happen 30 seconds from now or years from now. We are in a constant state of not being in control. We are being challenged to give up the perception of control and stop trying to do everything by ourselves. Trusting God is fully accepting that He is big enough, strong enough, powerful enough to influence, change, re-direct and orchestrate any situation.  Then add in the full understanding about how much he loves us and that he has the perfect plan for our life. When we do that… He becomes and always has been trustworthy. 

“When we allow worries to dominate us, we’re actually saying that God can’t be trusted to take care of us…” Billy Graham

Pastor Rick Warren said, “Worry is practical atheism.” When we worry, we are rejecting God’s promises to us. We are saying we think we know better and that we don’t believe what he told us.  That may seem harsh but it is as simple of asking yourself do you trust God or don’t you?  How do you determine which part of the Bible to believe?  Are you looking at the Bible through your lens as a human on Earth and what you think is best or the lens of God that knows and sees everything and knows what is best? 

HOW DO YOU STOP WORRYING?

My head understands that worrying is not okay and has bo benefits and plenty of drawbacks. My body and mind know that worrying doesn’t feel good and causes me to feel and act in ways that are not pleasant. We can’t just flip a switch and turn worry off. 

There is really only one way to stop worrying and Good News it is available to everyone and simple to understand.  We have to intentionally choose to think about something else. We have to pursue control of our thoughts. And for Christians, the only way we can do that is to fully adopt and start applying what God tells us. We start seeing the world through His promises and trust him for the outcome of every situation. 

Let’s walk through this with one example. God promises us something in Deuteronomy 31:8:

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

We can take away from this promise that God is with us in every situation we encounter.  If we know we are never alone, we never have to go through anything without help, comfort, love… how would that change your perspective on a situation? When we trust God to be there and trust He will get us through something, we don’t have to worry about it.

That doesn’t mean that we will avoid bad things happening in our life, disappointments, experiencing loss or other unwanted experiences. Understanding that those things are going to happen to us or the people around us is reality. No one is immune but when we fully accept the promises or God and better understand God’s character as good in every way, we will make it through. We will survive. We will learn to adjust. We will adapt to a new normal. We will be able to love people who make poor choices.  We may struggle with something for a while. We could have pain, suffering, feel stuck or not see a path out of our situation but God can strengthen us, he can create a new path, he can use our situation to teach us something or others around us that we could not have learned any other way. He has a plan for us and he can work things together for good if we just trust Him. 

He has made promises and doesn’t break them. He promises to be with us through everything. He promises to protect us, provide for us, prosper us, and thousands more.  This is one of the strongest reasons we should not just read the bible but study it. The more we know His promises, the more we can Trust him and have more peace in our life.

The poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said – “Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up”

To stop worrying we need to start thinking about what God promised us.

You may be saying, I get it!  God is in charge. Trust God. Let go and Let God… BUT….  what about when this happens? God promises to be there but sometimes situations require me to take action too.

One area that I struggled i when it comes to worry is trying to figure out when I need to do something about my concerns requiring some time thinking about the situation.  Nothing wrong with that on the surface but when does caring, loving or planning ahead turn in to worrying and sin??

Being concerned for others or yourself out of a loving place or avoiding a dangerous situation or to try to be prepared and planning ahead for different scenarios in your life is good.  Expressing concern and trusting God can happen a the same time. It is a totally different thing to swirl about that concern, swirl about all of the plans you are considering and all the what if’s and have it take over your thoughts, interrupt your sleep, and not talk to Jesus about them. Jesus tells us not to worry. There is no wiggle room in that statement.  Any amount of worry is a sin.

You may want to back that up and listen again and think about some of the things you are thinking a lot about lately. If you are struggling with swirling thoughts please pray about it but you may also want to find a pastor, a Christian mentor or Christian counselor to help you work through trusting God more and develop a plan to learn some news skills on how to take control of your thoughts and stop worrying.  

I struggled a lot with worry and feeling anxiety when I was younger and occasionally still have some hiccups. I used to get sick at halftime of my basketball games because I was putting so much pressure on myself to perform. I wasn’t able to eat on some dates because I was so nervous about the guy’s perception of me and the fear of something not working out. I felt like I was going to throw up the whole date – real attractive right?!  And I love going out to eat.  Over time, I have had to relearn how to handle these kind of situations by being more vulnerable and more reliant on God. 

Not worrying is a behavioral habit that takes some intentional effort to fully adopt, requires setting some personal boundaries and having other people in your life that can help you get through tempting worry moments. 

For me I have been able to make progress through reading and applying God’s word and surrounding myself with other believers that know my history of worry and can speak in to my life if I have an unexpected worry moment. 

I have set some personal boundaries that also help me navigate potential worry moments.

“Become a worry-slapper. Treat frets like mosquitoes. Do you procrastinate when a bloodsucking bug lights on your skin? ‘I’ll take care of it in a moment.’ Of course you don’t! You give the critter the slap it deserves. Be equally decisive with anxiety.” – Max Lucado

When I have unresolved conflict in my life, I refuse to let things linger with people because it causes my thoughts to swirl. The moment I have feeling of anxiety or worry about a situation, I try to address it with the person or people involved as soon as I can. I make it a point to push through the uncomfortableness or awkwardness so I can get to the peace on the other side of that conversation as soon as possible. My husband says I like to rip the bandaid off. I still struggle when conflict can’t be resolved but I can work with God to find peace in my effort and pray for wisdom on how to move forward and pray for the other people involved. 

I have a boundary about pursuing facts instead of focusing on unknowns. Psychologist Dr John Delony says, “Facts are our friends.”  Focusing on the facts takes away the heaviness of the unknowns and helps me focus on real things. It can also help me put the unknown things in the category of things I will need to figure out or learn. 

For example, if I have a big presentation to give in front of a lot of people I start praying about it and I  concentrate on truths and facts about the situation. For example:

No matter what happens, I will be okay. 

God is with me and this opportunity is a gift.

I have practiced and prepared adequately and am ready to do the presentation. 

My mom will be proud of me even if I goof up. Her opinion means more than a group of people I don’t know.

The people in the audience are just regular people, many just want to learn something and many have no expectations of me and are thinking about the challenges they are having in their own life.

These facts help me move forward with more peace and potentially could make my presentation even better because I am more relaxed and calm.

The other thing I will do when I realize the thoughts are swirling is to connect with one of my closest friends. I will talk about what is happening and how I am feeling and she can weigh in on the situation. She can validate my feelings and help me focus on the facts and squash any false narratives I picked up. She can speak truth in to the situation that the enemy doesn’t want me to know.  These conversations help me slow down  the thoughts and at times it helps me decide on my next course of action is preventing me from having to think about it anymore.

Pastor John Ortberg says,

“Never worry alone. When anxiety grabs my mind, it is self-perpetuating. Worrisome thoughts reproduce faster than rabbits, so one of the most powerful ways to stop the spiral of worry is simply to disclose my worry to a friend. The simple act of reassurance from another human being becomes a tool of the Spirit to cast out fear — because peace and fear are both contagious.”